Proud to have kiwi friends

18/12/2009 by Christopher Buxton

Just caught on to wonderful scandal rocking Auckland.

Through my teenage years I had chastity stuffed down my throat by catholic priests while they thrashed my pyjama clad bottom. Sex education consisted of one word: Don’t!

I was always puzzled by the 99.9% of saints being “virgins” dedicated to Christ and the Virgin Mary. Was it impossible to be a married saint?

The only exceptions were poor Joseph who married this cracking girl only to be told by an angel that not only was he to bring up her bastard son but he was not under any circumstances to consumate the marriage; and St Thomas More who wore hair shirts and regularly whipped himself as a punishment for his enjoyment of marital sex.