Well hung parliament

08/05/2010 by Christopher Buxton

Between Ghurkas and shirkers – are Ghurkas illegal immigrants? Are illegal immigrants shirkers? The Daily Express needs to bring Joanna Lumley back from the Nile to sort out this problem.

Two earnest responsible Public School prefects battle a dour headmaster with a terrible secret.

Conservative poster gives us a dynamic Cameron in a hurry in open necked shirt and sleeves rolled up, thumb up, finger pointing the way, turning the out of focus crowd like Wayne Rooney turns a bunch of Burnley defenders. Worryingly though he is looking away from the direction he’s going, tempting collision with a lamppost or bollard.The headlines scream out a series of shortcut thoughts. Let’s cut benefits for those who refuse work…Let’s….! All the suggestions are straight interpolations of Daily Mail headlines – but it’s the use of the word let’s that bothers me. Here’s a man in a rush, firing out policies as though they’ve only just occurred to him. Too much like an excited teenager on a school trip to Amsterdam.

And now having missed an open goal more times than Berbatov, Cameron will be lucky to survive the growing grumblings of the Tory Right. To win those southern working class seats, he needed some nasty qualities and all we got was nice, responsible, nice Head Prefect. I await Norman Tebbit’s comments with interest.

Lib Dems losing so many seats out in Cornwall – could that be anything to do with Europe? Or the proposed amnesty for illegal immigrants. The lesson seems to be don’t get stuck with policies that can’t be explained in headlines.

In fact all Liberal policies always require too much explanation. That’s how Clegg inevitably turns into a cuckoo clock over the three weeks. Voteforchange; voteforchange

Still how do we explain why Labour did so well in spite of everything? Under a headmaster’s thunderous brows and an ominous smile that presages six of the best?

The Daily Mail would have it that our moral fibre has been weakened by years of Political Correctness. We have become cowards and shirkers. We should be more like….But no they’re foreigners!